Images...

Image: Michael Elliott / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ten years after 9/11 I still have a problem with images from that day. For some reason I can't look away when they come on TV - but looking at them brings back every emotion. Then, I was a single 20-something working hard and living in my first condo. I was in the process of breaking up with my college boyfriend (it's never that easy, right?) but somehow the events of the day brought us back together, at least for a few more days. I was terrified that a similar attack would be forthcoming, and had trouble sleeping for a few months.

Today, I'm, 30-something, happily married to an amazing man, still working hard, living in my first house and now I'm mom to a fantastic little boy. On this 10th anniversary of the attacks, it's bittersweet to look back at how many things have changed in my life for the better, but one thing remains the same - particularly in light of the news of more threats around the anniversary - I'm scared of another attack. Especially now as a mom. What if something happens and I'm away from my little boy and/or my husband? How will we find our way back together?

My reason for staying positive.

Sometimes when the images seep into my mind I get carried away in the fear, but today I've seen so many amazingly strong and positive people and families highlighted on TV or on the radio that I'm inspired. One woman on NPR today told the story of how she and her husband, a pilot on United flight 93, were just days away from celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary. Before that fateful day, he had ordered a baby grand piano that played their wedding song as an anniversary gift. The story she tells about how the piano arrived, days after his death, and what it meant to her then and what it means now, is amazing. While it clearly wasn't easy at first, she gave a parting message of living every day like it's your last, as her brave husband did.

So, while I have an underlying fear that probably won't go away - and it will probably ebb and flow like it has over the past 10 years - I'm holding on to the positive images and trying to be strong, particularly for my little boy. The day will come when he's old enough to want to know about 9/11. It's crazy to think that he will never know life before. I'm not sure if that's better or worse. Either way, I'm going to work hard to teach him tolerance and provide the happiest life I can - no matter what happens around us.